HAIR

By, Kate Proto

 Ahh yes, hair.  Whether your do is short or long, blond or brown, hair makes one an idividual.  Here is a list of the top 9 hairstyles of the past century in no particular order.  Enjoy.

  #1:  Mullet:  The 10/80, Business in the Front: Party in the Back, The Bilevel, the Safety Cut, Tennessee Top hat…all names for the beloved hairstyle, the mullet.  Mullets are like jackalopes, sighting one is very rare, but when you do see one you will be breathless.  The mullet has been around forever.  From Uncle Jesse on “Full House”, to David Bowie, the mullet remains one of the highly acclaimed haircuts out there.  Aaron Markle, sophomore, obviously agrees.  His full-fledged mullet astonishes most everyone he meets.  This haircut scores 10 points. 

 #2:  Bowl Cut:  Remember back in second grade when nearly every boy’s hair looked as though his mom stuck a bowl on his head and cut around it?  Ahh yes, bask in the glory of the bowl cut.  These days, bowl cuts are not as common, but none the less wonderful.  Our lovely model for said haircut is senior Tobin Johnson. 

 #3:  Himalayan Hair:  When I asked Daniel Hoffman what the name of his hairstyle was, he simply replied, “Himalayan Hair.”  It is unbeknownst to me what type of hair the people of Himalayan sport, or if they have hair at all.    If everyone in the Himalayan Mountains has hair like Daniel, I’m packing my bags.

 #4:  Fro:  Most commonly sported by very cool black people of the disco era, the fro is one of the best haircuts of this century.  It’s haphazard bush like appearance really makes it special.  The advantages of having a fro are:  #1:  You can hide things in it.  #2:  You can do disco moves all the time without being suspected to be insane (although this does not stop me.)  Seen here sporting a voluptuous blond fro is senior Tyler Reynolds. 

 #5:  Beatle Hair:  The Beatles were one of the most revolutionary bands ever to exist, so why shouldn’t everyone have hair like them?  Parted to side and worn close to the head, Beatle hair is the epitome of coolness in my opinion.  My good friend Steve-O is seen here showing off his premium Beatle cut.

 #6:  Mohawks:  It doesn’t get much cooler than this.  A Mohawk is one of the punkest haircuts out there.  Examples of this spectacular display of hair are members of The Casualties and The Exploited.  For years punks and non-punks alike have been slaving over this high maintenace hairstyle.  A short Mohawk may very well stay up with gel alone, but a more massive one will take Knox gelatin to keep it up throughout the day.  I have met people who have put anything from tile glue to sand in their mohawk to keep it up.  Mind-boggling.

 #7:  Comb over:  balding men who don’t want to loose their dignity along with their hair usually wear the comb over.  In a few instances, the comb over can be seen on a less aged variety.  A good friend of mine, Chris Giles had such a hairdo until late last year.  He combed over his goldilocks with pride and continued to until he graduated high school.  He now has a shaved head, which failed to make my list. 

 #8:  Lack of hair:  This is my personal favorite hairstyle ever to grace this earth with its presence.  This fashionable hairstyle is seen on many middle-aged men across America.  The publicists of Vogue often overlook this hairstyle, and that is definitely their loss.  Whether one’s lack of hair is combed over, or simply gone, a baldhead has a plethora of styling options.  One can apply baby oil to the scalp to get that “just ran a mile sheen”.  Or perhaps one would enjoy using magic marker to write clever sayings upon one’s head.  The ideas are endless.  George Harris, who is my very favorite teacher I might add, is seen here sporting his lack of hair.  What a fashionable individual. 

 #9:  Dreads:  I have made several attempts at recreating the dreads of Bob Marley.  Much to my disappointment, it didn’t work.  Dreads are very cool.  You don’t need to wash your hair.  You also can name your individual dreads.  I am not really sure what kind of work it takes in order to make a head full of dreads, but I am ready and willing to find out.  Here is Leighton (Jen: I am not sure of his last name so if you know it could you include it?)  showing off his wonderful do.  Man, nothing says cool like dreadlocks.