The Flaws of Marriage

by Nathan Kistler

I am not going to get married in the future, and this has been my conclusion for the past few years. When I announced this plan to relatives, they’ve denounced me as “immature,” claiming that my “feelings will change.” I do not know which feelings they are talking about, but I assume that they feel that I will have a better opinion about marriage when I am older. I do not think my feelings will change. When I’ve told my peers that I won’t get married in the future, they reassure me that I’ll eventually find someone who will marry me, hence misinterpreting my feelings. Why do I believe this? There are several reasons why this lifestyle does not suit me. I can only imagine one circumstance where I would get married: if my significant other was a millionaire. Any flaws a wife might have could be overlooked if she had lots of money.

One reason I am frightened by matrimonial commitment is the prospect of divorce. The divorce rate in California is high. More than 2 million people in California are divorced. All those who get divorced probably believed they would stay married for a lifetime. I am fearful of divorce, because it is a very expensive process. (Unless you have a prenuptial agreement, but even so, those agreements can be contested in court.) As a result of divorce, I must pay legal fees, and I will potentially have to pay alimony or child support. I do not suppose that I can get the security of one relationship because it is so easy to get a divorce. I could not imagine having enough love for a person to risk my money in divorce because I love money.

Living in the state of marriage can also be bad. There is the stereotype of the “nagging” wife, in which the wife is constantly ordering her husband to clean out the garage or take out the trash. She is also notorious for saying, “You have two hands! Do it yourself!” The woman slowly chips away at her husband’s will to live, and eventually degrades him to the status of “henpecked.” I do not believe that every woman is like this, but I’m sure that they exist. It is this possibility that precludes me from marriage.

Additionally, it is more trouble than it’s worth to find a spouse. Dating for the purpose of attracting a spouse is too difficult and expensive. I would need to spend money on a nice dinner and formal clothing to go out on dates. But for what reward? I’d rather stay at home and listen to my radio than get stressed out over a date because dates are very uncomfortable. It is difficult to determine what to say or do on a date, since there are no guidelines for anyone to follow. It would be problematical to come up with discussion topics for your date since most dates’ participants are unfamiliar with each other. There is great pressure to make a good first impression with one’s date, which requires plenty of concentration, and is hardly enjoyable.

Most of the benefits one receives when one is married can be achieved if one remains single. There are many dangers to being married that can cost money, time and cause great discomfort. Marriage is no longer a permanent institution, and the complications that arise from separation of marriage are excessive. Finding a good mate is complicated because there is no definitive way to find one. I imagine marriage to be unpleasant because a wife could become a great critic of her husband’s habits. Marriage could not be more flawed.