Does Growing Up Mean Conformity? by
Kennith Hopper
We are soon to have a new
governor; Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes, he was actually voted into office and we
all think it's amazing. Now that we have had a power change, things are going
the same as they were before. Why? Because the problems were
not totally
With this
new name and title came other social, political, and
economic changes. Schwarzenegger's stance on many issues combines elements of
both left wing social policies, with right wing protectionism. Because of this,
the two dominating political parties have been forced to come to a common
ground. Under the threat of receiving a beating, both Democrats and Republicans
have decided to merge to form a single party, the Kalifornia
Sovereign State Party. This is a major step in the dictator direction, but a
dictator with immense muscles is just fine. Ahnold is
a good leader because he donates money to the Special Olympics.
This party
merge has caused a certain amount of political turmoil in the mostly left
leaning state of Kalifornia, but that's no problem
for the Govinator. On the weekends, Schwarzenegger
has been witnessed running over protesters with his huge Hummer, but it's legal
now under the Run Ovah Hippies Act. There is no
dispute from the Democratic side though, because they're just as conservative.
Because he cannot pronounce Cruz Bustamante, Ahnold has resorted to addressing him as the "Toast
Master General". Despite this, the two have been working cooperatively to
form a new, better Kalifornia
The deficit
that has "crippled" Kalifornia is a major
obstacle for Ahnold to tackle. To do this he has
proposed several fund raising programs, many of which are currently in action
and rather visible. Schwarzenegger is from
The rich Kalifornia soil "commandeered" for the use of
other states may seem pretty… progressive… but wait, Schwarzenegger himself has
contributed to clearing the debt. With his huge wads of your patron money, he
purchased part of
Ahnold's most notable attribute is not that he is a body
builder, but an actor (I won't argue whether he is a good or *BAD* actor).
Movie magic has instilled him with many fanciful ideas of life, but it just might
have made him wily enough to go for innovation. Thus, we have a robot army now!
By we I mean Schwarzenegger has a robot army. It was
developed by a private robotics firm and Universal who teamed up imagination
with production possibility to design a smart robot with about the same anatomy
as a human, except they're metal and cool. Because of this, the Kalifornia Nation Guard was disbanded and guns were
outlawed completely. Police forces have also been downsized because who's going
to commit a crime when the Terminator and his T-1000s will be on your back.
With this
new power, Ahnold has been able to enforce some
rather controversial laws, such as the no license's
for illegal immigrants. This has given room for many illegal drivers, making
insurance payments skyrocket for "citizens" because of the cost of
cars and the ever increasing cost of fuel (since the robot army needs it too,
the government has first bid on the crude) car ownership has dropped
drastically. Bicycles, though, have become more and more popular. Scrap metal
from used cars is now being used to produce, cheaper, stronger bicycles. The
robot army also uses bicycles, like the bicycle brigades of WWI.
Despite the
massive reforms in just about everything, the loss of land, and the fact that Kalifornia is threatening secession, the people are happy.
Kept in line by an awesome robot army, there is merriment in the streets,
unless it blocks bicycle traffic, and the people feel mighty refreshed by the