Doggy Disasters and Canine Catastrophes

by Mark Arellano

As humans, we value the possession, loyalty, and friendship provided by the canine species. An equal in various aspects, our doggy companions showcase the camaraderie and love that one has for their distinguished dogs. Unfortunately, in the darker side of the human and dog relationship, there are moments when spot stops being nice, and Sparky starts to growl. These are the true and bewildering stories of dogs and their stunned owners, from funny and whimsical, to the downright odd, prepare yourself for some puppy laughs.

The search for when good dogs go bad tales began with an intense scrutiny throughout the ESHS stuffed halls and overcrowded classrooms; vast studies of findings and background research into the validity of the stories found were performed to ensure the authenticity of each incident. The following cases presented are the teller’s original story. Let the tales begin.

Case 1: Gourmet Diarrhea

Senior Laura Burrell was about to embark on a family trip when she decided to go to the pet store and pick some food to feed her dog since she was out of the usual goods. She decided to go with a gourmet and renowned brand of dog food. She was convinced the excellent choice would appease her doggie’s digestive track. After her departure, her friend agreed to watch over her dog. When he fed the dog the gourmet chow, within a normal digestion period, the dog was suffering from the ill-fated, foul smelling repercussions of doggie diarrhea. Much to her dismay on her return, the weary Burrell was alarmed by her dog’s duties, and was even more caught off guard when the droppings were all over the house, especially in the front living room.

Case 2: Over the Fence and to My Doghouse We Go

On a warm and sunny spring day, senior Britt Murphy was home and tending to her beloved dog. Fellow senior Jennifer Herron was accompanying her, and the pair decided to give her little dog a nice clean bath. Due to the animals’ tendencies to “misbehave” they tied the creature to the fence. As the bathing barker sat with the leash, Herron decided to throw the animals’ favorite ball. Bad idea. As soon as that thing was midair, the dog ran towards it, and dived for the ball. the fence came flying off the wall and to the doghouse it went.

Case 3: Spinning in the Street

On a normal weekday, junior Jamie Evans was hanging out at his residency like any other day. His hound was running and playing in the usual manner as any dog does. Suddenly, in what seemed like a sheer shade of insanity, his faithful friend darted out to the street, and into oncoming traffic. As Evans got up to his feet and with fear and anxiety apparent in his eyes, he witnessed as his dog stood in the middle of the street, and a vehicle came by and hit the small creature from its backside. The car did not stop, and the animal went spinning in the street. As if turned to stone, Evans stood dumbfounded as the injured pet came back into the house on all fours.

Case 4: The Rio Puppy

Whilst living in the state of New Mexico for two years, freshman Danielle Buma decided to take her dog to go see the Rio Grande river. A sure sight to see, Buma had a fun day with her dog. She took her eyes off of her unsuspecting friend, and to her shock, her puppy jumped into the river. A frantic dog chase pursued, as many people ran for miles to keep track of the poor puppy. Screaming for her puppy’s life and safety, Buma was truly terrified of what was to lay ahead. Rocks, tree limbs, and the rushing water complete with the winding waves tossed the defenseless soul around like a stuffed graduation dachshund. A half hour and a whole Rio Grande rescue unit later, the dog was safe.

These stories serve as a woe of wit and whimsy of the things that can happen when a mild-mannered, domesticated canine goes berserk and transforms into a hyper and ambitious animal asking for trouble. So chain up your Chihuahuas, pack up your Poodles, and shut up the Chows, you never know when god dogs will go bad.